Wednesday, May 20, 2009

If they only had this 28 years ago...


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as? Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5,and then installed undesirable programs such as? NBA 5.0, ?NFL 3.0 ?and Golf Clubs 4.1.Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6simply crashes the system.Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed, Desperate


First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt3.0 update.? If that application works as designed,Husband1.0 ?should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, HappyHour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall theBoyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend:? Cooking 3.0 and? Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Desperate!

Tech Support


Anonymous said...

HAHA I have read this one before but it never fails to entertain! Good luck to you if this is your current issue. BTW, the NBA and NFL programs are pretty awesome if you take a chance and try them. I plan to also get the MLB added if I ever get this program again.

Anonymous said...

I KNEW there was a name for what is going on in this household. Thank you for enlightening me.

As a last resort, one can always pull the plug?

janeyknitting AT yahoo DOT ca
(change caps to symbols and lose the spaces)

Jan L said...

This post is just so funny. I had to print it out so I wouldn't lose it.

Stone Hill Ranch said...

you have me laughing again :-)